I limped past the finish line of 2018 with the bubonic plague. The doctors (in my 2 visits and 2 phone calls…no, I’m not a hypochondriac or stalker) assured me it was not the plague, but simply a bad case of the flu with double pink eye, and that it would pass in 2-3 weeks with sufficient rest, hydration, tamiflu and eye drops. To those of you I have whispered about, rolled my eyes at, thought you had an inferior immune system, etc….all behind your backs when you’ve mentioned you have been sick…I cannot be more sorry and I apologize! I had no idea or frame of reference. I solemnly swear to get a flu shot every year moving forward. This is one holistic approach I am willing to toss to the side. Cough cough, sniff sniff.
A couple of Januarys ago I decided to trade my list of New Year’s resolutions for a simple mantra or a word to live by in the upcoming year. It seemed to me by doing so that every aspect of my life would be impacted by an adopted frame of mind, not just a limited focus on an overly-defined check list. My mantra for 2018 was, If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it. It was creating some tension (in me) at the thought of letting it go, so I’ve decided to keep it and add on to it for 2019 with The magic is in the mess (borrowed from my friend, Brene Brown). There sure is a lot of mess around here so don’t be alarmed if, in anticipation, I start carrying a wand. Maybe that is part of the lesson…to anticipate. I start each day with intention…naming and proclaiming it to be a ‘good’ day and thanking God for the day ahead, asking Him to direct my path. Ugh, if this could only just stick after I left my house in the morning. But I try again another day….
This past year found me still (as I approach the three year mark of some of my darkest days) fighting the good fight! My circumstances continue to be a head scratcher, but never short for a laugh or good entertainment (some things really don’t ever change)! I said some hard good-byes last year, but also said some warm hellos and I look forward to what 2019 is sure to bring. I continue to learn a lot in this relentless pursuit of a life reimagined. I will be honest. A lot of days are challenging and my output does not reflect my input. How can that be? What do I do with this mess? All I know to do is the next right thing. One day at time. And a lot of yoga….namaste.
SUBJECT CHANGE, please stay with me. I think we would all admit we saw a rising of women in 2018. To that I say….WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to my women friends. ESPECIALLY those who have been dealt some catastrophic blows these past couple of years and have responded with nothing less than grace, confidence and strength. I’ve always known I had amazing friends (I picked them after all!), but seeing it play out in real time has been empowering. You are resilient, you are my sister and you are NEVER alone!
And to that end, I am ready to close the door on another lackluster year, but with hopeful optimism as I anticipate what is yet to come…hey, things are already looking up. I can almost FULLY see out of my right eye. The PINK EYE is clearing up!
BYE, FELICIA! 🙂